Motherhood Rollercoaster

Motherhood is the most rewarding, taxing, demanding, and blessed titles I have all in one. I dreamed of becoming a mother at an early age. I loved babysitting my cousins as a pre-teen and teenager. I was a nanny to a precious family through college and enjoyed the challenge of 4 under 5 when I started. My journey as a mother myself has had its ups and downs. I brought my first baby girl into the world at 23. I now have three beautiful blessings from above and I am right in the thick of raising kids in three different stages. Days are long, but the years are so short....a saying I was told when I brought my first baby in the world but didn't really understand until years later.

There are days where I feel like I am on top of the world, and days where I screw up royally as a mom. In the midst of the chaos of raising children, give yourself grace. No mom is perfect, but your children were perfectly chosen for YOU. YOU are the person that God chose to raise them in all the laughter, love, mess, and occasional tantrums when you've just had enough. Instagram and social media can be deceiving on the course of motherhood. We all post the amazing snapshots of our lives......the kids all in matchy-matchy outfits in front of the picturesque beach, a photo of one sibling hugging the other, the Pinterest worthy birthday party, a winning game shot or cheerleading competition win, etc. What doesn't get posted is the arguing and whining over the beach picture, the WWE match before the picture of the hug, the birthday party that you planned...but shed tears and a few choice words over because you had one issue over another during the whole process, the game shot that ended well... but only after late night talks to build that child's confidence after teammates shredded it time after time, the drama that came from your cheerleader doubting her own abilities. Those are the REAL times of motherhood.....both exhausting and rewarding at the same exact time. I feel a sense of mental overload, but purposeful living to mold and shape these that God entrusted me with to amazing individuals.

My pastor's adult daughter, Courtney, spoke at our church and gave great advice.....sometimes all you need is just a nap and a snack.....isn't that so true! I can be so bottled up with frustration and after those two things I am renewed and ready to face all of life's challenges. It is important to take care of yourself as a mother. When I neglect myself, I get frustrated more easily and I also start to feel way too worn down, resentful, and unappreciated (my perception, but not a reality). Taking care of yourself looks different for every mom. For me it is a walk outside, a calm bath with low lighting, time set aside for my devotion, a trip to the grocery store alone, date night with my husband, or time with a precious friend. Taking care of yourself allows you to then pour into your family with a fresh approach, patience, care, and gratitude. A saying I use often with my children is "gratitude shapes your attitude" and I remind myself of that saying often. When negative thoughts creep in I use gratitude to reshape my mindset.

The highs and lows of motherhood will ebb and flow. I may get some serious attitude from one of my teens one minute, but then be blessed by their bear hug or kindness the next. You can find me yelling about wet towels in the floor or snack wrappers all over my house sometimes, and dancing like a crazy woman in my kitchen to entertain and get laughs on other days. I am so far from perfect as a mom and have had to apologize for my mistakes to my children often. I just strive to be the best mom I can be with the gifts of children that God gave me. Ultimately on this roller coaster, I am going to mess up some days and rock others. My goal is to raise my kids to know that I love them unconditionally, I am their biggest fan, I will always tell them the truth, I will advocate for them, I will always make the best chocolate chip cookies, I will over-do holidays, beach trips are my favorite, and I live for their "I love you mama" and daily hugs. As much as I love them and would walk through fire for each of them, God loves them more. My mission is to point each of them to Jesus and a relationship with God to direct their paths.

If you are on the rollercoaster of motherhood.....hold on because it is a wild ride with lots of adrenaline, sharp turns, winding paths, fear, laughter, tears, and fun! This is my purpose and I will embrace every raw moment......the good and the bad. Also.....props to my husband, family, and girlfriends that lend an ear to my motherhood stories and vent sessions....it truly takes a village and I am so thankful for mine!