Part 2: Letting Go and Trusting in the Waiting

A few months later, my husband, James,  and I were talking and got into an argument.  I hadn’t gotten to talk about our loss to many people (I am pretty private) and needed to communicate my loss to my husband but felt like he didn’t want to ever bring it up again.  My husband expressed that he just wanted me to be happy again and didn’t want to keep rehashing it, but he understood my needs once I was able to articulate them to him.  My husband became a man that prayed over me and not just for me in private after that point.  This was a turning point in our relationship that I didn't know we needed. I now look forward to our nightly prayer together. This was October in 2023 by this point.  A revival with Perry Stone had broken out at our church.  You could feel God’s presence so much those two weeks of service.  On Sunday, October 29th, God spoke to me on the way to church and told me I needed to go to the altar to seek his face and let go of my past miscarriage.  I am a little bit stubborn and literally thought ... .no way….I can just pray about that in my home in private.  Well…..Perry Stone brought up my exact situation in the altar call that Sunday ... .a miscarriage loss and grief that a mother cannot let go of needs to give it to God.  I couldn’t do anything but cry and my husband took me by the hand and led us to the altar where we prayed together and I gave that burden of grief over to the Lord.  I felt a huge weight lifted off my chest.  We attended some revival services and saw a move in our older kids that had a hunger for Jesus.  We even took our kids to revival on Halloween night (2023) and had the best worship service I’ve ever seen.  I was so full of God’s grace and filled with his spirit.  November 1st is my husband’s birthday.  I decided to take a pregnancy test although my cycle wasn’t due for a couple more days.  To my surprise, it was positive.  I was immediately filled with gratitude that God would bless our family in such a mighty way so soon after I had just given him my burden of our previous loss just days prior.  My husband and I were so excited!  We still opted to wait for that first ultrasound to tell our loved ones.  I couldn’t hold God’s blessing inside long, so I told a co-worker of my super early pregnancy while laying out God’s timeline and blessing of what had occurred prior.  This was November….so I asked her to brainstorm fun ways I could tell my kids around Christmas time to make it exciting for them.  I felt great!  I had some symptoms of tiredness and other early pregnancy symptoms that I had not felt back in May….so I was sure this was going to be a great pregnancy.  Stay tuned for Part 3....