Part 3: Holidays 2023 approaching....and an ectopic adventure....

I was blissfully carrying my little secret pregnancy and was on cloud nine at the thought of my sweet rainbow baby. I attended a precious coworker's baby shower on November 11th and horror ensued in my mind about an hour later in the bathroom when I saw some spotting.  I felt like I was going to faint or be sick from the paralyzing fears that flooded my mind, so I excused myself from the shower, blaming my exit on needing to pick up one of my kids.  My husband tried to calm my fears throughout the afternoon.  Later that night... my left side was cramping and I felt some back pain on the left side as well.  I tried to treat the pain with a heating pad and warm bath.  I couldn’t stand the stabbing pains radiating around my left side and down my left leg any longer and asked my husband to take me to our local ER to drop me off around 2 am the next morning because I didn’t want to wake my children (I didn't want to scare them) or worry my parents in the middle of the night.  He was adamant on not dropping me off alone, but I am stubborn and would not have it any other way.  I walked into that hospital alone with God by my side.  I spent time seeking his face and asking him to wrap his heavenly arms around me.  I possessed a strength I never knew I had. I immediately recognized the blood tests, ultrasound, and rhogam protocol that I had received just months prior with my miscarriage.  The doctor attributed my pain to an ovarian cyst and the PA whispered to me that the ultrasound tech had seen a tiny tiny gestational sac…..so not to worry because it was just really too early to detect the pregnancy by ultrasound.  I left convinced that the bleeding was from implantation bleeding or the cyst…..along with the pain.  I was given a stronger tylenol to take for pain and the pain subsided about 24 hours later.  The following week I went in to follow up with my OBGYN for repeat testing and HCG screening.  My HCG numbers were rising very slowly.  My progesterone was on the low side, so I asked to be given progesterone supplements.  I was told that progesterone would not stop an impending miscarriage, but it would help support a healthy pregnancy.  After a couple of rounds of HCG screening, I was told over the phone that my doctor did not think this would be a normal pregnancy due to the slow rise of hormones and low levels.  I still had another week to go to get to the 8 week appointment and this was Thanksgiving week.  My parents were informed of my situation so they could be there for moral support for me.  I was super tired over Thanksgiving break and was heavily spotting/bleeding intermittently.  I tried to act as normal as I could to my children, but my older two knew something wasn’t quite right.  After my 8 week appointment the following week, there was no sign of a baby in my uterus and my HCG levels started trending down.  My doctor mentioned the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy, but due to the decline of HCG levels told us that we could ride it out a little while to see.  I have a wonderful doctor and he gave us lots of information during our appointment.  I went back to work and put together a baby shower for the sweetest coworker that same week on Wednesday.  By the time I got home from work, I had the worst pain in my neck and felt like I was hit by a bus……like the feeling you get when you think you are coming down with the flu.  I went into the ER after calling my OBGYN and giving them a run-down of my symptoms.  I went to Northside Atlanta so I could be under the care of one of my OBGYN's office physicians.  The ER at Northside Atlanta is a bit scary with police officers and guards everywhere.  This experience was traumatic until the OBGYN got involved.  Dr. G was amazing and gave us the pros and cons of doing a surgery to see if this was in fact an ectopic pregnancy.  We decided to wait since my hcg levels were continuing to trend down.  I went back to work the following week and was asked to come into my OBGYN for another round of bloodwork on Monday.  By Wednesday I felt 9 months pregnant and could barely walk normally.  I called the OBGYN’s office and was asked to come in that day.  The nurses had to call the lab because my hcg from Monday still wasn’t in.  My hcg started rising much higher and the doctors on call in the office asked me to go straight to the hospital to have surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy.  I opted to wait on James to pick me up and head down to Northside Atlanta so that Dr. G (whom we had met with in Atl.) could perform my surgery…..as I was much more comfortable with her than taking chances with an on call to re-explain the entire situation.  We arrived at the ER by 4pm and had to wait about 2.5 hours to go back.  All of the doctors, nurses, etc.  were so kind and friendly.  The ER was still a scary place there.  Once I got up to the surgical unit, it was much more calm and the staff were super kind there.  I had to sign a paper asking where I would like the remains of my baby….which was traumatic and unexpected.  The nurses walked me through it though and I went back for surgery.  James was super supportive as well.  I was in surgery for a bit longer than expected…..Dr. Grogan told James after that she took out the left fallopian tube and there was a blood clot attached at the end. This was another God wink….without the blood clotting so fast I could have been in a much more dire situation.  I stayed overnight since the surgery and recovery was so late.  At home I had soreness and pain for a few days, but was mostly exhausted…..probably from the surgery recovery itself, hormones working themselves out, and trauma of experiencing another loss.  Through it all, I continued to praise God and seek his face.  I was stripped down and incredibly sad, but knew he was in control all along.  Through this trauma, I still found JOY in the chaos of uncertainty and loss surrounded by my Savior, my husband, and our three children.  The holidays felt emptier in my heart, but I was still so blessed with my family and the love they poured out on me. I knew God was writing this test to be a testimony someday.....Part 4 coming up....