Part 4: Another Pregnancy Update

After the holidays winded down we were eager to see what our future entailed in our journey to have another baby after losing my left fallopian tube. My mom lost hers when she was pregnant with me (tubal plus me....I would have been a twin) and was never able to get pregnant again after I was born. This made me a little hesitant and fearful that it just wouldn't happen. I also started the Bible Recap to dive deeper into my faith and for the first time....read my Bible in a year making sure I devoted time each day for 365 days to form a routine.  God was walking me through this journey and never left my side and I wanted to know him even more. No matter the outcome....I knew God was writing my story and would use this trial as a testimony one day.

I was scheduled for a test pretty quick (just 4 weeks after my surgery in December) called an HSG at our local hospital to see what my right fallopian tube looked like and to assess my uterus. The test was so weird and they wouldn't let my husband back to be with me. I definitely prayed over this procedure and felt God was with me so I didn't' feel so alone and vulnerable. I'll spare you the details but it was uncomfortable, sterile, and the set up seemed to strip me of any kind of decency. If you know, you know. The doctor was kind and tried to make jokes in spite of the awkwardness of it all. The doctor basically "cleared" my right fallopian tube and stated the my uterus was in top shape.....so he gave us the go ahead to start trying immediately because this test sometimes makes it easier to get pregnant since basically my right fallopian tube was cleared out during this process.

James and I were happy with the results and a couple weeks later we had a positive pregnancy test again the first of February! We were so shocked and excited! I told my bestie pretty quick. My excitement faded in just about a week when some spotting started. I kept hope during this fearful process and had many trips to test my HCG levels to see what was happening during this pregnancy. We went through Valentine's Day and my middle child's birthday. My husband was an absolute rock during this emotional roller coaster and I felt God's presence around me to walk through it as well. To our surprise, this pregnancy ended up being ANOTHER ectopic pregnancy! I was scheduled to have surgery to remove it on February 22nd. This surgery was outpatient and a lot more painful that the past surgery due to trapped gas pains in my shoulders and collar bone. After the surgery the only thing I remember was a sweet nurse that talked with me in recovery while my husband was out of the room. I cried out that God kept giving me babies, but wouldn't let me keep them (I had also said this to my bestie a couple weeks earlier). This nurse was a christian and spoke words of encouragement over me, prayed for me, and gave me a teddy bear and a card stating where they would spread the remains of my baby in a garden at a nearby cemetery.

The love of my husband, parents, and my children kept me moving forward to recover. My hope in Jesus and the fact that my story wasn't over also kept me putting one foot in front of the other each day. Some days were harder than others. Some days I experienced joy in little moments with my family while others I felt entirely alone, sad, and broken. Friends were sweet, but didn't know what to do or say. I could feel their discomfort because I would have been the same until experiencing this myself. Stay tuned for PART 5......